Where do you go from here?

First of all, I want to say a Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing women in my life. Mom, Ma, Meme, Sara, Melanie, Tonya, Ashley, Elizabeth (soon to be), Grandma G, Grandma, D, Karin, Amber, Charis, Kim. It is because of you ladies that I want to be a Mom. You all have been incredible examples for me and those around you. But while I know that Mother's Day is about celebrating and cherishing the mothers that are special to me, it was a pretty difficulty day for me. We just had a 3 year anniversary of infertility, and so it hit me extra hard this year that I might not ever be a Mom. I might not ever get that honor, and I might have to settle for just being an aunt (which I love, but it's not the same). I think that is part of the reason that I love my nieces and nephews so much because they are all I have. I have this idea in my head that a family is a mom, dad and kids. I don't know anyone that I can think of that is married and doesn't have kids (unless they are newly married, or just don't want them right now). But you grow up being surrounded by the idea that you get married, have kids, raise them, etc so how does that work when you're infertile and you might not have kids. I don't know how to change my idea of family from mom, dad and kids, to just husband and wife. I think becoming a Mom is part of an identity for me, and I don't know how to seperate that, and just get on with my life. Yes, I realize that there are other options like adoption or IVF, but right now those aren't really an option for us. So these are my thoughts. I don't reach out and talk about my feelings much, but I really have no idea where to go from here so I just wanted to get the thoughts down on paper or blog, whatever.