I am claiming this verse! Romans 4:18-25

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOVEL SO IT WON'T HURT MY FEELINGS IF YOU STOP READING NOW.
I have been having a pretty rough week. And I have been praying for my hope to be restored and for me to have a more positive outlook on some things that have been going on in my life for the past 2 years. To give those of you that don't know a brief history, Josh and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past 2 years without success. We have both had full workups and tests to see what is going on and they cannot find anything wrong. Everything is within normal ranges or seems to be working properly. So I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We have been to/are currently going to a group of specialist, the Atlanta Center for Reproductive medicine. That is also why I have just recently started going to the chiropractor and the Acupuncturist. We have been through several months of fertility pills, and 2 cycles of IUI's. IUI's are the first thing that they try when going to a specialist. Then you go up from there to different ART procedures like IVF and others. I should have bought stock in pregnancy tests and ovulation predictor kits. Seriously, we would be rich. While we are struggling with infertility an enormous amount of people in our lives, neighbors, friends, family have gotten pregnant. While I have been happy for all these couples, it just opened a very raw wound, and questions like Why not us?When will it be our turn? Will it ever happen? As most of you know, I have a very fertile family and so does Josh, I mean there are kids everywhere and lots per family. We didn't want to tell anyone about this for a long time, well it was pretty much I didn't want to tell anyone. I wanted it to be a BIG surprise when we announced when we were pregnant. Plus, I am a pretty private person. So we didn't for about the first year, and then when we started going to the specialist we told our parents. But I have decided, that it is too much of a burden to keep a secret. The more people that know, the more people that can be lifting us up in prayer. And hopefully everyone will be super excited when we finally have good news even if they aren't surprised. So if you are just now finding out, please don't be mad it isn't personal. I am going to start blogging about this really just to catalog my thoughts and feelings, and to be held accountable.

So back to what I was saying about having a pretty crappy week. And praying for hope and restoration. Well today, I was convicted. Let's backup for just a minute so you can see where I am going with this, I met this girl in my Chemistry class, and we have become friends and lab/study partners. I found out she was pregnant right after we started the class together and she works for an adoption agency. Strange coincidence. Well two weeks ago I shared with her what we have been going through over the past 2 years. Today, I email her to see if we were still on regarding studying tonight because we have a test on Friday. I mentioned nothing about how my week was going, etc and this is her response:

I absolutely want to get together...the question IS- just how much time DO you have??? I am in need of a teacher!!!:) I will see you see at 5:30...

Also, I have been thinking about you and praying for you since our conversation a couple of Fridays ago. God has put you on my heart over and over. Every time I think of these verses below, I know they are for you, don't know exactly why, but nonetheless, I thought I would share them.

Romans 4:18-25
Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.

You may have read these verses a thousand times, who knows. I just feel like He wants you to know that it is safe to put your hopes regarding your desire to have a child in Him, even when it seems "against all hope."

All that to say, I will keep praying and hoping with you for an answer!!!

I started crying as I read this email because it was as if God was speaking directly to me, and I don't think that I have ever experienced that before. I know God has answered prayers, but this was really neat. I have kind of fallen off the God bandwagon as bad as that sounds, we haven't really gotten involved in a church, I mean we go sometimes, but I have put Him on the backburner. I have been blaming God for what is going on in my life, and the devil has used this to pull me further away from the church and from my relationship with God. I was reading a Beth Moore book "Get Out of that Pit" last night in the tub and it said "The problem with blaming God is that it charges him with wrongdoing. Thankfully, "He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust" Psalm 103:14. In other words, He understands us and He takes into account our limitations. For Satan to talk us into distrusting God and distancing ourselves from Him is to keep us broken, ineffective, and frankly, out of his hair. He knows that God alone possesses the power and passion for us to be restored."

So I don't really know how to end this post, except to say that if you read all the way to the end. Wow! Thank you in advance for your prayers and support. God is GOOD, God is FAITHFUL, and God knows the plans he has for Josh and I, plans for good and not evil. His timing is perfect. I just need to keep reminding myself of that. Pray that we will lean on Him through this situation, and that we will find a church home. Also we are starting our 3rd (and final) IUI this month so pray that this goes well. I say final because if it doesn't work then the next step is IVF. I love you all and thanks for reading. Also spell check is broken, and I didn't have a lot of time to edit so ignore the mistakes :-)