Monday Musings

So I was having my quiet time this afternoon, and these verses jumped out at me. Romans 8:18-21 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." vs 24-27 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit interceds for the saints in accordance with God's will.

It happens the same week every month, just ask Josh....I get really down waiting for the signal that we had another failed attempt. I try to keep the faith, but I find myself doubting and becoming really anxious to know one way or the other. I usually make rash decisions to just make myself feel better, like yesterday Luke and I were going to look at a bloodhound puppy. I have no doubt in my mind if we had gone to look, we would have been bringing a puppy home. Luckily I guess, Luke came to his senses and decided he didn't want the responsibility. These verses that I read really hit home for me. The glory that will be revealed in me is NOTHING compared to the suffering that I am going through now. And people I know, a lot of you have suffered so much more than I can even imagine so I don't mean to put infertility up as worse than what you may have gone through, but to me it has been the hardest thing that I have had to deal with in my short life. And yes, that attests to the fact that I have so many blessings that I can't even begin to count them all. And who hopes for what he already has? You know, I never really thought about it like that before. How can you hope for something if you already have it? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Several years ago, I prayed that God would give me patience. Little did I know that infertility would come along to test my patience incredibly. So I just felt like sharing this, maybe someone will pick up something fresh from theses verses like I did. Please pray for me over the coming week, that I will have a peace that passes all understanding and a continuing hope even if this is not the month.

Oh, and Happy Saint Patricks Day!